In my work over the years, I have seen so many women doubt themselves when it comes to the work they are doing, even feeling unworthy of what they are charging and the value they are adding to the marketplace. Some of those that we label the “strongest women we know” are dealing with thoughts of unworthiness and imposter syndrome.
So how do we, as women, get work through these emotions and start to understand that we are worthy and deserving of all the blessings that come our way, in and out of our business?
Dr. Nadia Brown 00:01
Welcome to another episode of straight talk about sales with Dr. Nadia and I’m so low again on my solo this episode and I’m really excited about today’s topic. Over the past couple of months has been very, very hectic for me as the team and I, we launched our next book. So that is now out there. So like a lady How to Master sales with dignity, class and grace. And then I also have a good friend and colleague who also released a book just last month, and her book La’Vista Jones is the author, the boss ship, do what you love without sacrificing yourself to do it. Amazing, amazing, amazing resources. And just some of the conversations that we’ve been having, over the past couple of months really just led me to want to address today’s topic, which is around worthiness. In my work, I’ve been doing this now for over a decade, in terms of working with women leaders, whether in the corporate space, whether Boss Babes, you know, running their own businesses. It’s been really interesting how this topic of worthiness and not feeling worthy, or you hear the term impostor syndrome, like so many different things that come up for women, almost across the board. Like, obviously, there are those outliers. But it’s been really fascinating for me to see this topic, or this concern come up time and time again, in spite of where women are, I’ve seen women who were I’ve looked at and I’m like, Oh, my gosh, like, how can I thank you Right? Like, just amazing, I’m so accomplished, you would never ever think that these thoughts are things that they actually often often entertain, which is, you know, what’s your thoughts around worthiness? And, you know, can I really do this, and who am I to do this work or charge this much, or, you know, to have a big vision. And I remember, starting out many years ago, I’ve been doing this now for over a decade. And one of the talks that I used to give is directly in alignment with my first book, Leading Like A Lady: How to Shatter Your Inner Glass Ceiling. And in that particular talk, as well as in the book, but it’s obviously you know, talk, you get to see more, and I had these, I think I may still have them, but I had these really big, oversized pink sunglasses, and I would take them with me as I travel. And I talked about one of the ways that I use the sunglasses was in terms of just having this big, big vision, right? And so many times you got, you have this big vision of what it is you want to accomplish, and what it is that you want to build. And you don’t always say it out loud. You’re just like, ah, you know, or you have those thoughts like, who am I? Who am I to want to lead a sales agency and to not only lead a sales agency, but to create a sales agency that then creates jobs and opportunities for other women like who am I right? And so those thoughts come up for people, including me. And so the visa and I, as we’ve been on this book, publishing journey together, we’ve really just, you know, had a lot of conversations, and it’s something that she also addresses in her book, around worthiness and really understanding that you are worthy. You deserve this, right. And so one of the ways that it really talks about it, you’re like, Okay, doctrine it, what does this have to do with sales? This honestly has a lot to do with sales. I dare say almost everything to do with sales, because what I’m seeing in my work, and the women I get to serve, is that a lot of times, this shows up in how we show up in terms of sales in terms of sales conversations, the number of sales conversations, we’re having, how we show up in our marketing, which then drives sales conversations, right? And also charging like how much we charge because our worth and our value is so intertwined with our pricing. And I know and I’m sure that was some good hearted person. I want to believe that that started this whole thing around charge what you’re worth, I get it, I’ve always said it a time or two, until I came to that realization that You can, you can never, I need you to hear me on this. You can never charge what you are worth. You are priceless. I’m gonna say it again. Because I really want you I don’t know, if you have to pause it rewind, I need you to hear me on this. You can never charge what you’re worth, you are priceless. So I need you to start the process, because I get to this is probably not an overnight thing, right? of separating you your personal value your self worth for whatever it is that you charge in your business, whether you decide you want to sell $47 product or $150,000 products, right? It doesn’t matter to me. It’s not about you may not get that it’s very difficult. B when we’re service based businesses, right. And we’re consultants, and we’re coaches, and we’re speakers, and we’re trainers. And we often are seen as a product, or we’re the face of the brand. And you’re like Dr. Nadia, what do you mean, it’s not about me, it is about me. And I’m here to say it’s not about you. And going through that process of separating you as the individual, as the person as the amazing or priceless human being from the work that you do, the value that you provide to your clients. And the services or programs that you offer are two completely different things. And that is what I wanted to address today. Because this is what causes us to shrink. This is what causes us to hold back when we don’t feel like we’re worthy. And then we start comparing ourselves to everyone’s highlight reel that we see on social media. And it’s a whole hot mess on the inside of us. Because we don’t feel like we can take those steps, we don’t feel like I can charge what I need to charge in order to move my business forward to achieve the goals I need to achieve. Right. And I get that a lot of times, you know, most women in business start their businesses because they’re excited or passionate about a cause or purpose. I get that. But at the end of the day, we run businesses, we run whole businesses that we need to charge real dollars because Yeah, real bills to pay, right we have a team or if we’re not there yet, we have a vision. And whether or not you’ve said that vision out loud, whether or not you even had the courage to yet even put it on a vision board or in your dream book. It doesn’t negate the fact that vision still exists. So I wanted to just take a moment so Oxford English Dictionary, because y’all know if y’all been around for a while, you know, I loved the dictionary; love the dictionary, love definitions. It defines worthiness as the quality of being good enough. How many times am I good enough? Can I really do that? Right? Am I enough? That question of enoughness that comes up that holds us back. Another one. And this is Oh my god, I think this might be my favorite definition of worthiness, the quality of deserving attention or respect.
Dr. Nadia Brown 08:28
I want you to hear me, you are enough. Just as you are today. You don’t need another degree, no need no certification, just as you are today. Can we all grow and get better? Absolutely. But are you enough today to serve? Absolutely. Okay, I need you to hear this. You are suitable. You are deserving, deserving of attention and respect. But it all starts with you. And really dealing with this mindset. Right of am I enough? Can I really do this? But what about her? What about her, she has her own race to run. She has her own vision that is very different from yours. Even if there are similarities in the things that you to do. And I need you to hear me on this because this is having an impact on your business is having an impact or how you show up in the world is having an impact on how much space you take up in the world is having an impact on how much you’re charging and your business is having an impact on whether or not you’re asking for the sale is having an impact on your bottom line and I don’t want to see you go into another year dealing with this. Okay, so if you have to play this over and over and over and over again do it because I believing you and I know you have what it takes. And you’ll get whatever else you think you need that it takes to move things forward. But I just wanted to share with you today that you are enough. And I also wanted to invite you, because of the visa and I have talked about this, and we are hosting a power session on December 9, so virtual, so you can come and join us, you have to be local here in the Phoenix Arizona area to join us, it’s going to be an intimate, deep conversation where we’re going to explore not only this conversation around worthiness, we’re going to look at pricing. And we’re going to start to really dig into what held you back this year from achieving your goals so that it won’t hold you back next year. Okay, because we can’t take this into 2023. We have to deal with this now. And so we will make sure that link to that is below in the show notes so that you can join us register for that. But even if you don’t, I want you to know this, you are enough. You are worthy. We are cheering for you. And I really want you to make a commitment to yourself that you will address any issues around worthiness around impostor syndrome around not feeling like you’re enough that is so impactful and paralyzing in many cases, that is holding you back from moving forward and achieving your big dreams, whatever those are, they’re your dreams and achieving the revenue that I know that you can generate in your business to create the time freedom and the legacy that your business can be a tool to do. So I hope you make that commitment. I would love for you to join us for the power session. But no, you’ve got this. You are enough. I’ll see you on the next episode.